refreshed

I've been feeling refreshed the past few days, which has been great! Ive been in a huge rut lately, with all areas in my life.  My weight, attitude, prayer life, motherhood, being a wife, friend, etc.  I felt stuck and just didnt know how to get out of it! We started reading Emotionally Healthy Spirituality(EHS) with our church and new small group (which Im really excited to be a part of!) It has been so eye opening! Caleb and I are both really excited about it! We talked for 3½ hours the other night after the kids went to bed.  No TV or computer to distract us.  It was great.  He gave me some good advice about how to get "unstuck" in a few areas. 
One of my biggest issues has been motherhood.  I have really stunk at it the past few months.  I never can seem to just sit on the floor and play with the boys.  I am always always finding something that "needs" done.  Laundry, vacuuming, scrubbing toilets, picking up toys (constantly), doing dishes, the list goes on.  Owen would ask me on several occasions during the day, "Mommy, will you play with me?" And I'd always say "Not right now" or "In a few minutes" and only about 50% of the time with the actual intention to do so, only after I finished this one chore.  But that one chore always leaded to another and another. 
How sad is that?! :(
EHS has really opened my eyes to the fact that I HAVE to slow down! Caleb put it this way which helped me put it into prospective.  He said that being a stay at home mom is my job (ok, I got that). But most importantly, being a MOM to Owen and Jonah is my job.  That needs to come first.  And whatever time I have left (nap time, during a movie, etc) is when I can focus on household chores.  I always felt like Owen and Jonah were interrupting MY day when I was trying to get stuff done and they kept begging for my attention. 
It doesnt help that I have OCD with cleaning and doing chores.  Im trying really hard to give this up to God and not take it back! Who cares if my house is not spotless ALL.THE.TIME!
Along with EHS we are doing a daily devotional called Daily Office, by the same author who wrote EHS.  It has us starting and ending each devotional with 2 minutes of silence and centering before God.  This too has been eye opening to both Caleb and I.  So often we talk and talk and talk to God, giving Him our wish list and dont even give Him a second to speak back!
I have to keep it at the front of my mind to remember to stop and make time for God.  Not only talking to him but giving Him time to speak to me.  I have to remember to put being a good Mom to Owen and Jonah before being a obsessive cleaner.  (and side note: if you even saw my house, you'd probably ask, so what did you spend your whole day doing?? your house isnt even that clean!! haha)

My weight has really been stressing me out lately, too.  Ever since I've upped my dose of medicine, I have gained weight SO fast! Im making more of an effort to do something about it.  As much as I would like it to, the lbs arent going to just come off by themselves! (ok, maybe some of them will once I stop nursing!) Ive been going on runs (short ones mind you) and today I did Jillian Michaels 30 Day shred and about died (in a good way!) :) Ive tossed around the idea of going vegan for a couple of weeks.  My Sis did it for 3 weeks and lost 10lbs in 2 weeks! Before I start though, I want to get a good library of recipes.  I dont know if it'll actually happen though.  Caleb made the best ever cheeseburgers a few nights ago and cheese, oh I would miss it!

So, if its not too selfish to ask, say a little prayer for us! We are having some changes around here.  But they're good ones :)

In other news:
When I picked Owen up from school today he was trying to tell me something and I had no idea what he was saying.  I asked his teacher if she knew and then asked her if she noticed any speech issues with him.  (Im not sure if I mentioned before but O's dr. said she noticed a little bit of speech delay so I just wanted another opinion).  She said the same thing, a little bit, and refereed me to someone who could test him for free.  I think we'll check that out.

And... Jonah says Dada :)